TW: Graphic depiction of violence against women
The sound She made when I finally plunged the knife into Her chest is one that keeps replaying in my mind. Soft, strangled breaths that ended with a light choke and then, complete and utter silence. She wouldn’t even give me the satisfaction to hear Her scream.
We’d gone on a run, just as we’d been doing for the past few weeks. The Girlfriend got me to run with Her ever since Jason hurt his ankle after a bad fall on the trail. Of course, She had no idea his ankle was actually hurt during one of our many sexcapades but what She doesn’t know can’t hurt Her.
The weather was cold with a grey sky accompanied by dark clouds looming over us and a thick ozone scent that prickled my skin, sending waves of excitement through my body. It’s time. We’d been running for over an hour and given how early it was, the hiking trail was empty without so much as a single bird in sight. Absolutely perfect.
I watched Her run ahead, feet plunging into puddles formed by last night’s rain, splattering muddied water all over my new white shoes. What a cunt. I’m certain She did it on purpose. She’d always put on the mask of a kind person without fully committing to the bit. When you complimented Her, She’d just thank you without reciprocating, ask where She got an item of clothing, and suddenly, everything She owned was either a gift or thrifted without tags. And now, She had the fucking audacity to sully my shoes.
This solidified my decision to kill Her. Of course, I’m aware it’s a petty reason to take a life but do I deserve to feel a stranger to my species for the rest of my days? What makes Her more worthy to live than me? To be more human than me? Nothing. Humanity is my birthright and thus, I shall take what’s mine and punish The Girlfriend for stealing it. I glided my tongue along my teeth, the jagged edges tickling its tip and making me giggle. My fun ended when I noticed one of my incisors had come loose. I slid my tongue into the warm pulp under my teeth and cringed at the intensely bitter, coal-like taste.
The Girlfriend abruptly stopped in front of me. “You’ve been a bit slow today, did you not sleep well?”
I gave her a toothy grin. “I think you taking those ankle weights off might be a factor.” It’s so strange how to every animal on Earth, bearing your teeth is a sign of aggression and yet for the Homo-sapiens, it’s a sign of friendship, something warm and welcoming that you must do in order to fit in with your peers. She smiled at me, that same condescending smile you give to people you know are beneath you. My hand grasped the handle of my knife, the smooth cold leather felt calming with my fingers wrapped around it, the soft grain of it tickled my palm as if begging me to plunge it into Her.
“What’s that in your pocked?” The Girlfriend pulled at my arm, making the knife fall into the puddle She had used to dirty my shoes, now muddying my new burgundy tights. Bitch.
“It’s for self-defence.” I crouched to pick it up. Now my jacket’s sleeves are muddy too, all because of that idiot female.
“I don’t think a knife that large is legal.” Her voice was steady but could see how dilated Her pupils were and saw the sweat had pooled at Her forehead trickle down Her temple, releasing fear’s sour scent as I got closer.
“It’s not.” I chuckled, “But I’d rather go to jail for a few weeks than to get murdered by a psychopath, wouldn’t you?” She nodded before taking a step back, “You should really think about investing in one, you never know when it might come in handy.”
“Put that down! You’ll hurt yourself.” The Girlfriend grew increasingly agitated. Her voice was shaky and the blood had drained from Her face, causing Her chapped lips to become the only thing I could focus on. I counted how many times I’d have to bite Her lip to get rid of all the dead skin— Four, maybe five times if I wanted to savour it.
The adrenaline travelled through my veins the closer I got, rushing through each and every one of my veins, a titillating feeling that only got stronger as it reached my heart. This rush filled my lungs, became the very air I breathed— I was everywhere and nowhere at once. The world was just me and Her. Her and I. Predator and Prey. The Fox and the Hare. The Shoe and the shit beneath it.
“I’ll give you a five-minute head start.”
The Girlfriend started running before I could even begin to count, ruffling through Her bag to throw things at me as she did so. Five. I could hear Her screaming for help, stumbling through the woods getting further and further off trail. Four. She ditched Her bag, having run out of things to throw and pushing Herself through dense thicket that blocked the path. Even back from where I stood, I could see tiny droplets of blood staining the weeds, the idiot had just become that much easier to track. Three. Perhaps The Girlfriend deserved to die. One of the first things the imbecile had chucked at me was Her phone and wallet that now lay at my feet. You’d think those two things are what you keep at the very last moment but no, She was so confident She’d escape me that momentarily losing Her phone and wallet didn’t matter. Two. I looked at my reflection in the knife, for once, there was a hint of life in these dim eyes of mine, a tiny spark at the thought of finally being part of my species, of fitting in. One. I started running.
I found The Girlfriend within thirty minutes, passed out with blood splattered on the grass around Her, some of it still oozing out of Her temple. Seriously, could She ruin any more of my fun? I left my hiding spot and checked Her pulse, there’s no point in waiting if She’s already dead. I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt a slight pulse on Her wrist and reached for my knife.
I won’t kill Her yet but wouldn’t letting Her know I already caught her be hilarious? I sliced the skin on Her arm, careful not to dig my knife too deep and did the same to Her right thigh. I bit Her shoulder, my loose tooth getting stuck in Her skin, leaving a bloodied bite mark on it. I savoured the metallic taste, real blood, not like whatever black tar oozed out of my wounds. I spat on her, annoyed once again by our differences and went back to my hiding place. Her momentary sense of security would shatter the second She noticed those cuts and I couldn’t wait to watch it!
That’s one thing I despise about the Homo-sapiens: arrogance. This species has the audacity to credit itself for the conquest of nature, ignoring the natural disasters wiping tens of thousands of its members with their homes out every year across the globe and the fact that they’re dependant on resources they must either grow or hunt. These stupid little creatures love playing God despite not knowing they haven’t even begun to understand true creation— Not like I have. Let death become a lesson against Her hubris.
The Girlfriend woke up a few minutes later, groaning in pain. She breathed a sigh of relief at the realisation that She was alive. “Oh my god,” a smile appear on Her face, “Oh my God, I’m alive!” She let out a laugh, ugly, loud, and full of hope. My grin widened as I watched. It only took Her a few minutes to see the blood dripping down Her arm and one more for the adrenaline to retreat, letting Her feel all the pain I’d caused Her.
A breathless sob left Her body. “WHERE ARE YOU, YOU PSYCHOPATH?!” I had to cover my mouth to stop laughing. I wonder how long it’ll take Her to notice the bite mark. She scanned Her surroundings, pupils so wide you couldn’t see the blue in Her iris anymore. She looked like a newborn deer, shaking on its legs, trying to run from the hunter that killed mommy-dearest. Her fate was sealed the moment she met me; She was born to die by my hand, Her purpose was to serve as my donor in my transition into humanity.
I ran my fingers through my hair with anticipation and tightened my grip, ripping out a handful. Little bits of skin were still attached to some of it and blood had already started matting the strands together. The warm, pulsing sensation that radiated out of the wound was addicting. I ended up pulling a few more chunks out of my head, pocketed them and wiped my hands on the newly formed bald spots, using the oil oozing out to get rid of the residue. In just a few minutes, this strange, sticky pelt on my head would be replaced by Her beautiful, golden strands. I can’t wait anymore, Her next breath will be the last.
I caught up to The Girlfriend simply by walking, presumably because exhaustion finally hit and a head injury isn’t ideal when you’re trying to escape a crazed killer— or me for that matter. I watched Her limp towards the empty road, poor Bambi had so much hope someone would come help She didn’t notice the huge “Construction ongoing” sign causing the road to be unused for years now. Nobody would be coming. She ran down the asphalt road, yelling if anyone could hear Her and begging for help.
Even in this moment, with Her life in my hands, I was jealous of Her. I envied the shrill in Her voice, its undulations with each sob that escaped Her lips, the desperate breaths that came between each scream. She was more human than I’d ever been. The Girlfriend fell to Her knees, shoulders shaking as She cried out in rage. It was cinematic to say the least, the character had finally understood just how utterly alone She was, that She wouldn’t be alive much longer and that Her death would be excruciatingly slow and merciless.
A felt a drop fall on the tip of my nose, I looked up to see that the once grey clouds had turned black, full and ready to unleash enough rain to flood the nearby river and wash all trace of blood away. I lunged at Her, punching Her in the rib and trying to grab Her wrists. The bitch kicked me in the stomach making me taste that disgusting tar. I spat it in the spot next to her, I can’t go around contaminating Her face, it’ll be mine soon enough.
“You’re bleeding!” She exclaimed with a paling face, who cares if I’m bleeding? I’m actively killing you. The Girlfriend snapped back to reality and started biting at my arms, shoulder and kicked me harder, desperately trying to break out of my hold. I tightened my grip and put all my weight on Her hips, effectively stabilizing Her before yelling at Her to stay still. She fought against me, crying and telling me about Jason, Her mother, father and brother who would be devastated by Her death. Jason wouldn’t care, Jason’s mine.
I tied Her up with some rope and lifted Her by the pony tail, careful not to cut or stain any of it. “Please stop, I’ll do anything!” Begging. Typical. It doesn’t matter, what I want can only be achieved through Her death, no amount of bargaining would change my mind.
“Pleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestop,” She whispered, tears rolling out of Her bloodshot eyes. What a waste. 50$ worth of mascara had now gone down the drain, making Her look like a racoon. I looked at Her, really looked at Her and realised just how pathetic She was. She was shaking with a mixture of mud and blood all over her shoulders and arms. Her foundation, once perfectly glowy while still somehow being full coverage, was now blotchy with cracks revealing the skin underneath.
“Why are you doing this?!”
Another human thing I’ve never understood. This incessant need for closure is stupid, especially when it comes to death. My reason doesn’t matter, it won’t change the result. The Girlfriend will die by my hand as She was made to be. She has no soul, She won’t reincarnate, won’t float up or be pulled down depending on how She has lived. She’ll simply become worm food and fertilize whatever tree Her remains are buried under.
“You have something I want.”
A light flickered in Her eyes, “What is it? I-I’ll give it to you, there’s no need for any this!” I shook my head. “Please! W-we can forget any of this ever happened! I won’t tell anyone!”
“No. You have to die for me to get it.” I placed my knife at the base of Her hairline and pushed at an angle. She let out a strangled scream, a sweet beautiful sound that begged to be heard, bartering to stay alive, calling upon an indifferent God and offering riches I have no use for. Everything of Hers is mine.
I peeled back part of Her scalp. Warm, crimson blood trickled down my arm as The Female clawed at my wrists, trying to break out of my grip. “The more you struggle, the more it’ll hurt.” The sun reflected off the white of Her skull and warmed my eye, I bumped the hilt against it as an act of revenge. She yelped in pain, Her voice hoarse, almost impossible to hear. Panting like a dog, She didn’t have the time to beg for mercy as I meticulously I cut the last pieces of flesh off. Her scalp was perfectly preserved without a single cut made by mistake.
I grabbed Her by the throat to stabilize Her head as She let out a soundless scream. Tears streamed down Her face as my blade inched towards Her eye. She wasn’t fighting me anymore, She knew better than that. The Girlfriend flinched as my knife carved into Her eye socket, scooping them out one by one like peach pits. I bit into one of them, enjoying the gelatinous texture on my teeth as a warm, sticky substance stained the corners of my mouth. I licked off the blood streaming out Her empty eye socket, not a single part of The Animal should go to waste after all, and cleaned my knife on Her shirt. I let go of Its throat and watched as The Beast spasmed on the ground, trying desperately to fill its lungs like a fish out of water.
I took its tongue next. I wonder what sound it’d make if its vocal chords hadn’t been so strained. Would it’s moans and whines change in rhythm now that It was missing a key component in communication? Would they be drowned out by the blood trickling down its throat, choking it lightly? I almost regret cutting it out so soon. I ripped out its teeth one by one, making sure to keep an incisor to replace the one I’d lost. I dragged the tip of my finger along its gums, licking off the blood, relishing in the metallic taste that would soon be mine.
I trailed my knife down The Beast’s sternum, relishing in the jolts in its chest as I nicked the skin occasionally and plunged the blade into its heart. It let out a strangled sigh before going limp. I slit her jugular and placed my mouth at the slit, drinking as much of the blood as I could, and wiping the excess with my muddied sleeve. I trailed bites down its neck, ripping out chunks of flesh as I reached the stab wound, pulling the knife down slicing down to its belly. I pulled apart its meat, cut through the layers of fat and muscle to reveal its internal organs. I sliced through them to reveal the beautiful, white bone of its ribs. I broke them one by one, the dull crunch of the bone motivating me to reach the heart.
I reached into its chest cavity and grasped the muscle in my hands, still warm to the touch and glistening under the moonlight. I could almost feel it pulsating in my palm, I bottled the urge to squeeze it. It smelled like a mix of iron with raw meat, filling my mouth with sour saliva. I wanted so badly to take a bite out of it. I squeezed the heart slightly and watched as blood trickled out of the aorta, I brought it to my mouth and lapped. Before I knew it, I had bit out a massive chunk of the heart. Blood emptied into my mouth as if I were squeezing a sponge and a salty, mineral taste filled my mouth.
I guess all of Earth’s inhabitants are animals in the end. I don’t know why I expected a taste different than entrails but I was quite disappointed. No matter, it’s time to get to work. I wiped my knife clean rested it over my lighter’s flame and waited for enough soot to build up on both sides of the blade. I traced a dotted pattern around The Beast’s face, making sure to leave a few centimetres long to allow myself a margin of error. I cut into the skin as precisely has possible, working meticulously to avoid unnecessary tears to the skin. The entire process took around two hours, with peeling the skin being the hardest thing I’d done. Layers of oil and sweat had built up on its skin, making it so slippery I wasn’t able to properly grip the corner until my third try.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that like mine, Her skin felt like silicone. I must be imagining things. I must be, The Girlfriend is— was, human. Up until Her last breath, She had been human. I pushed my doubts deep into my stomach and kept cutting. The Homo-sapiens is an animal full of fat. Around 30% of female Homo-sapiens bodies were composed of fat with some gaining or losing some over the course of their life. The Girlfriend didn’t have much, with most of it having accumulated on Her cheeks, probably remaining “baby fat” as they call it. The good kind that makes females look “cute” and “youthful” or perhaps a more appropriate term would be “childlike”. I scraped it off and put some to the side, I wanted to be youthful too.
When I pulled back some of the skin, I was disappointed to see that I didn’t have much to work with, the skin on Her face was 5 millimetres tick at the most with the rest being fat and muscle. I pushed my knife deep into the crevices in order to cut the last bits of muscle sticking to the subcutaneous tissue. Finally, my new face is ready. I carefully cut some of the muscle, I could use it to sculpt my new face.
I grabbed one of The Beast’s ribs and carved it into a needle with a rock. I needed to use human remains for every part of the process in order to do everything right, to complete the transition. I pulled three strands out my head and passed them through its eye, tying the ends into three tiny knots. I rested my supplies on the bed of moss laying on a rock next to me and pointed my blade at the base of my hairline.
© 2026 C. H. Gökdemir. All rights reserved.
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